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As I have often pondered those things happening in our world today, I have also pondered what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ. During Christ’s ministry men were appointed as His disciples. They followed Him and were taught by Him. But when Christ descended into heaven the word ‘disciple’ took on a new and deeper meaning. Christ’s disciples not only followed his teachings but they became doers of the word, putting into action those things he commanded of them. Being a disciple of Jesus Christ involves a transformation from the state of the mortal man to one who loves the Lord and serves Him with all their might, mind and strength. Being a true disciple requires sacrifice and laying aside ones personal desires. All are invited to become disciples of the Savior.

Russel M. Nelson taught, “The day is gone when you can be a quiet and comfortable Christian. Your religion is not just about showing up for church on Sunday. It is about showing up as a true disciple from Sunday morning through Saturday night…. there is no such thing as a part-time disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

As it is with developing any Christlike attribute, our mortal weaknesses can make becoming a true disciple sometimes difficult. It will require sacrifice and self discipline. The Lord will always recognize ours efforts to change and improve even when we sometimes fall short.

Believe

Believe in Jesus Christ. Believe that He knows you personally. Believe that His teachings and commandments are for the benefit and well being of all mankind. Believe that He suffered and died for you.

Love

Strive to develope the pure love of Christ. Love those who persecute you. Pure Love overlooks ones faults, weaknesses and even Sin. One of the attributes of being a true disciple is to love others as Christ loves you, with unconditional love. There is no greater need in our world today than Love.

Do

Jesus Christ went about doing. Follow the example of Christ by putting His teachings into action. Look for opportunities to serve others. As you pray to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands He will impress upon your mind those who are in need.

In 2nd Peter we learn that our faith can be measured by what it leads us to do. It takes practice to become good at anything. It is the same with becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ. Resist the temptation of finding fault with others.

I know that as we strive to become true disciples of Jesus Christ and show love and compassion to all those we come in contact with that this world will be a better place and we will receive great blessings in the world to come.

Be a Disciple of Jesus Christ by Believing, Loving and Doing. This World Needs You!

‘As I have loved you, love one another, this new commandment Love one another. By this shall men know, ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.‘

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I can’t honestly say I have always been grateful. At least not in the sense of being thankful for ‘things.’ I’ve done my share of feeling sorry for myself while I perceived those around me to have all the luck or blessings that I felt cheated out of. I wanted to grow up with a father, raise all the kids I gave birth to, and grow old with my husband. Well…. I didn’t get to do any of that. When your down in that deep dark hole of feeling sorry for yourself it’s easy to forget those things you have to be grateful for. Like life, the air you breathe, freedom of choice, and maybe just the dawning of a new day.

With Thanksgiving just around the corner we often think of those many things we have to be grateful for. But what I want to write about is something deeper, and that is an Attitude of Gratitude. Having an attitude of gratitude allows you and I to be grateful in any circumstance. Once we have developed or gained that kind of attitude it’s much easier to put off that natural man inside of us that seems to want things! It also turns what we have into enough!

So how does one gain an attitude of gratitude? I really had to think hard about this question. I know that I am more grateful now than I have ever been. But how did I get here? I think for me there are three main things that have played into gaining a truly grateful heart. And those are: The example of others (including Christ), experiencing opposition, and gaining a hope or knowledge of God’s plan for me.

The Example of Others: Throughout my life I have witnessed others in extreme tragic situations thanking God for their many blessings, including being grateful for the growth that their hardships would bring. Our Savior Jesus Christ is the perfect example of someone who went through His entire life not wanting for himself but instead giving to others. These things have left me in awe and wanting only to develop those Christlike attributes in myself.

Experiencing Opposition: As the scriptures teach there needs to be opposition in all things. Our Father in Heaven knew that we would learn and grow by experiencing opposition. Without sadness we cannot know joy, without evil we cannot know goodness, and without loss we cannot know gratitude. My own personal hardships and trials have taught me and helped me to gain a much deeper appreciation for those meaningful blessings I do have like family, friends, shelter, freedom and my knowlege of Eternal Life.

The Hope or Knowledge of God’s plan for Me! As I study the scriptures, fast and pray to become more Christlike with deeper compassion for others, I have felt changes taking place inside myself. I feel a much deeper appreciation for my blessings. My attitude has changed towards those who have hurt me. It is easier to forgive. I have faith in better days to come and I can be grateful even in my current circumstances, even living alone during this worldwide pandemic. God’s plan for all His children is one of growth, and eventually a joy beyond description!

Can we really be grateful in any circumstance? The answer is Yes!

It is my hope and prayer that we can all develop an Attitude of Gratitude and a deeper appreciation for meaningful blessings we do have and a desire to help those who are less fortunate. Happy Thanksgiving!

Comments are welcome at ctr75@comcast.net or on facebook.

You probably know by now that I like making comparisons when I write. There are so many lessons in life just waiting to be discovered if we would only pay attention to what’s right before our eyes! We are all a work in progress being molded and refined! Although much of that process can be painful it is all about the end result.

Take a Potter for example… he must first prepare the clay by a process called wedging, which is mixing and removing air bubbles. This can be a lengthy process. Next he can form the clay by using a wheel or slab. Then the clay must be dried until it reaches the leatherhard stage. This stage is the Potters last chance to change the shape, trim, and add decorative details. After more drying the piece is ready to be fired in the kiln. The temperature of the kiln must be gradually increased. Firing too fast can cause the piece to explode. Once the first firing is done the piece can be glazed and fired again bringing it luster and shine!

Our Father in Heaven is like the Potter. He desires for all His children to have those experiences that will mold them and shape them into one of His most beautiful creations. He desires for all mankind to shine with the beauty of righteousness. He knows that this refining process that mortality brings to all of us will eventually bring us the greatest Eternal joy possible. He wants that for each of us because He loves us deeply.

I know personally, the pain of being refined as I am certain you do too. But…. it really helps me to endure when I understand my Father’s plan for me and put my trust in that plan. I know that I am slowly becoming that person He wants me to become. Prayer and faith in Our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ can give us the strength to allow our challenges and trials to refine and mold us into a great and beautiful masterpiece, at the hand of the Master!

In Zechariah 13:8-9 we read:

“And it shall come to pass, that in all the land, saith the Lord, two parts therein shall be cut off and die; but the third shall be left therein. And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God.”

You are a Glorious work in progress!

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I guess you could say that, (in a sense) playing the piano is one of my livelihoods. It is almost as important to me as breathing! I can’t imagine my life without it! It brings me joy, peace and solace. It takes me to a place where I can escape the sorrows and hardships of life. A place where I can be alone with my thoughts. But then… there is that darn C Flat! I bet I have played over a hundred pieces containing C Flat! Playing C Flat for me is like trying to walk with a puncture weed or a pebble in your shoe. Very uncomfortable right? No matter how much practice I put in, playing that C Flat still remains annoyingly uncomfortable to me.

As I have pondered this over the years I like to compare this experience to sin or mistakes we make that we choose to ignore or try to rationalize away. Have you ever been there? I have. No matter what you do you can’t quite seem to put it out of your mind. At least not permanently. It continues to bug you just like that puncture weed or that C flat! But that’s a good thing… right? Having a conscience or the Holy Spirit prompting you to take care of it once and for all. What a blessing!!!

I personally made alot of bad choices in my youth years that brought me alot of pain and suffering. But I am here to tell you that acknowledging your sin or mistakes, repenting and forsaking them can bring you undescribable peace and joy! This is only possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, who suffered for every mistake or sin committed by every child of God.

If you have a ‘C Flat’ that is bothering you, seek help and guidance from a trusted friend. Counsel with your Heavenly Father in prayer so that you can be free of that burden in your life.

Unfortunately for me if I continue to play the piano, (which I plan on) I will have to tolerate those annoying C flats, but I do not have to carry the burdens of Sin! What a wonderful blessing!!!

“Repentance is the key to avoiding misery inflicted by traps of the adversary.”

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Yesterday is gone! No matter how hard you try you can never have that day back, to relive or change. It has now become part of your past. Maybe yesterday was a day of a wonderful and happy event or perhaps the worst day of your life. The only benefit of the past (in my opinion) is to recall good memories, lessons learned and moments of divine inspiration and guidance. It can also be beneficial to look briefly at the past to evaluate where you were and where you are today. Recalling those things can be of great worth, but….dwelling on past mistakes, bad choices and things we have no power to change can pull us down to the depths of despair. I testify that Satan is as real as our Father in Heaven and he will use the negative things of our past to destroy us! The exciting news is….. we all have Today!!! Every twenty four hours we have a glorious new day, another chance to make a difference, to break a habit, to try again.

I unfortunately spent the majority of my life dwelling on the past. Famous words in my vocabulary were, “if only”, “I wish” and “why me.” My new focus is Living in the Present, making the most of each day, striving to be a little kinder, a little more patient and a little wiser in my choices. Living in the present has been something that I have had to practice. Like any other skill I have tried to learn, it has taken a conscious effort on my part. It hasn’t always been easy to keep my mind from wandering to the past or worrying about the future. I have found that living in the present has greatly reduced my stress. Of course I have long term goals that I hope to achieve someday, but my main focus is on my attitude and actions Today!

I recently read an article called, “Go Forth With Faith” which contained the following quote.

“You will experience greater progress in life when you wholly commit to your decisions and strive to excel in your current circumstances even while you have an eye open to the future. This is the day of our opportunity and we must grasp it.”

Pay attention to your thoughts, for your thoughts become your actions and remember if today is less than ideal, there is always tomorrow.

Comments welcome here or at ctr75@comcast.net

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A year ago I wouldn’t have been able to talk about this subject openly to the public. But I can now! The possible benefits to others outweigh admitting openly that I have struggled with social phobia my whole life. I am certain that I am not alone in this struggle. I hope and pray that I will be able to help someone as I share some of those things that have helped me with this challenge.

I was labeled ‘SHY’ from a very young age on. I grew up hating that word! And I guess I still do. (Something I need to work on.) Anyway, SHY meant WEAK to me. My mother and brother struggled with social phobia as well. I guess that could have had an impact on me. I didn’t make friends easily. However, I did have one good friend through junior high and high school whom I felt I could be myself around. Being with her allowed me to breathe for a while.

Let me tell you from my own experiences that those people out there who want to take advantage of someone, (for whatever reason) prey on those who appear weak and vulnerable. So if you are shy try to at least appear confident and strong for your own protection.

Do you judge a book by its cover??? Well, in my opinion that is not a very good idea. A plain an uninviting cover might not reveal the depth of enjoyment or lessons taught that the pages contain. Or a book with a beautiful and intriguing cover might contain words that harm and even addict a reader’s mind.

Unfortunately I was teased, laughed at and abused enough that I built a protective wall around myself. I trusted only a few. It’s a lonely place to be. But it was how I coped. You would think as I became an adult and left those people and places behind I would have felt freed from the grasp of being shy and vulnerable….. But….that wasn’t the case. I was still that weak and shy person I had become and now I was surrounded by all these neighbors whom I visualized as people who had it all together, which only made me feel more inferior. And actually that wasn’t the truth at all.

I developed several coping mechanisms that helped me get through each day that might even sound ridiculous to some but to me I couldn’t have made it without them at the time. One was to look out my window to check for people before getting the mail or before making a mad dash to my car. Another was always parking close to an entrance for a quick get away. I didn’t like making eye contact or speaking in front of people. I always sat in fear of being called on at church. I avoided people at the grocery store and didn’t attend very many social things and when I did I was extremely uncomfortable.

I wish I could say that everyone was kind, but like the cover of that book, I was judged by my appearance. Some comments were made to my face and others came back to me through the grape vine. People judged without knowing what was going on inside of me. Please be kind to others, you don’t know what they are going through.

Now why did I decide I needed to change? Well because I knew deep inside that I was a child of God and that I possessed strength and attributes waiting to be developed. I didn’t do this for people or to have friends even though I do enjoy the friendships I have made. I did this for me and my family. I did this for my Father in Heaven. I want to be an instrument in His hands to help others who are struggling. I want to be the best version of myself. I want to be confident and strong. I want to be safe from harm!

In closing I want to share with you some of the things that have helped me to overcome social phobia:

1. Share your deepest thoughts and feelings with your Father in Heaven in prayer. Express your desires to change and overcome your obstacle.

2. Find at least one person who you can trust who will give you encouragement and love you unconditionally.

3. Be willing to take those first few steps in the dark which eventually lead to the light. Start with something small maybe by inviting a couple of people to your home. Practice making eye contact. Say hi to someone at that the store instead of avoiding them.

4. Go to a social activity even if you don’t stay the whole time. While you are there distract your fearful thoughts by using your senses. Count 5 things you can see, and hear. Touch 5 different things. Can you smell anything? What is it?

5. Make a comment or voice your opinion. It doesn’t matter what other people think. Your opinion is your opinion.

6, Seek professional help if necessary.

I can promise you that if you have the desire and pray for help, putting forth effort to overcome Social Phobia that you will succeed and little by little you will feel this obstacle becoming less and less noticeable as time goes on.

I love this little quote:

“No one can make you feel inferior but yourself.”

Thanks to all of you who are reading my posts! Please share with others! Comments welcome here or on facebook. Or write Tanya Christiansen at ctr75@comcast.net

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This picture is one of my favorite’s and I love having it in my home! Peter showed amazing Faith as he stepped out onto the water and began walking towards the Savior. But soon his faith turned to fear and he lost his Focus and began to sink. This picture is a constant reminder to me to keep my focus on those things that really matter!

I spent a lot of years focussing more on what people thought of me, my mistakes, my obstacles and struggles. I constantly made comparisons with others always coming up short. Being a victim of abuse does a lot of damage to ones sense of self. It also brings with it feelings of shame and guilt. I could write a book on the thousands of negative thoughts that have gone through my head during the past fifty plus years. Certainly not a good place to have your main focus. But that’s where I lived a lot of the time and I deeply sympathize with anyone who knows what that feels like. I did enjoy being a wife and mother but those negative thoughts and feelings were always in my head. Home was where I felt the best!

The very beginning of changing my Focus was when my church leader asked me to write down ten positive things each day. He told me he didn’t care how many negative things I wrote as long as I wrote ten positive things or ten things I was grateful for. In the beginning it was very difficult for me. It helped me to see just how negative my focus really was. It became easier to write the positive things as time went on. I did this for over a year. Another thing my church leader asked me to do was to memorize some scriptures and repeat them to him. I enjoyed doing that and it really did help my Focus to change.

We all have difficult experiences and challenges in our lives. They will come to everyone. The adversary will do everything in his power to throw us off course….losing our Focus on things of importance! I know that as my main Focus is on Christ and striving to live as He did, that the adversary has no power to pull me down. I can’t say that I am 100% where I want to be but I am getting there little by little. My Focus has changed drastically these past few years. I know that I have worth as a daughter of God. I feel more joy than I have ever felt before! My Fear has turned to Faith! I still have challenges, but I know that I can handle them if I keep my Focus on My Savior. He will give me the strength I need.

I hope and pray that something I have shared will help someone out there somewhere. You might also want to read my post ‘Cleaning Out The Closet.’ Comments welcome on Fb or at ctr75@comcast.net.

Focus On The Good Things In Life. We Are Truly Blessed To Be A Part Of Our Heavenly Father’s Plan!

Let me begin my post by summarizing one of my favorite stories of sacrifice.

A young inexperienced teacher began his first day at school by asking his class to help establish their own rules. Ten rules were written on the blackboard. Then the teacher asked, “what shall we do with one who breaks the rules?” “Beat him across the back ten times without his coat on,” came a response. A day or so later… the lunch of a big student named Tom was stolen. The thief was located, a little hungry fellow, about ten years old. The boy took off his coat. He had no shirt and revealed a bony little crippled body. As the teacher hesitated with the rod, Big Tom jumped to his feet to take the boy’s licking. After five strokes across Tom’s back the rod broke. Little Jim reached up and caught Tom with both arms around his neck. “Tom, I’m sorry that I stole your lunch but I was awful hungry. Tom I will love you till I die for taking my licking for me!”

What a great sacrifice Big Tom made for little Jim!

A little over a year ago I was invited to be in the delivery room with my daughter, son in law, and birth mom, to witness the birth of my youngest grandchild.

Let me tell you a little about this birth mom. I will call her Ann. Ann was attending college when she found out she was pregnant. She had no family living close by and the father of the baby wanted nothing to do with her once he found out about the pregnancy. Ann knew she was not ready to be a mother and she wanted her unborn child to have a mother and a father. She truly and unselfishly wanted what was best for the baby she carried. Through Ann’s roommate, (who knew my daughter) a miraculous connection was made and my daughter and her husband were offered to adopt this child.

My daughter was able to take Ann to her first appointment where they learned that Ann was already 30 weeks along and carrying a little boy. Ann and my daughter quickly became friends as they spent a lot of time together the last ten weeks of the pregnancy, laughing, crying and sharing feelings.

One late day in July 2019 we drove Ann to the hospital to deliver the baby. As the hours passed and Ann’s pain grew more and more intense I watched something very miraculous take place, which is almost hard to describe. As Ann gripped my daughter’s hand squeezing hard and crying out in agony, I also saw tears threatening to spill over in my daughter’s eyes as she gently massaged Ann’s back. You could almost tangibly feel the love and gratitude radiating from both the birth mom and the mom to be. It was such a spiritual experience. Nine hours later my grandson was born and gently placed on my daughter’s chest.

What a great and difficult Sacrifice Ann made which brought a family so much joy!

Aproximately two thousand years ago Jesus Christ, the Son of God came into this world and suffered and died for every mortal being that ever existed. He took upon himself the sins and suffering, pains, sicknesses and afflictions of every kind imaginable. No one knows exactly how He did this, but for many we hope, believe or know this to be true. This ultimate sacrifice makes it possible for all mankind to receive Eternal Life.

There is No Greater Sacrifice than the Atonement of Jesus Christ!!!

One thing I have noticed in all three of these examples of Sacrifice is LOVE and COMPASSION. The ability of one who thinks outside of their self to help another. And hopefully the one being helped feels deep Gratitude.

We are all in the middle of trying and uncertain times. What sacrifices are we making to help others? I know through my own experience that as we reach out to those in need with love and compassion we will not only be an instrument in the Lord’s hands but we will find greater peace and joy in our own lives.

Sacrifice is Truly a Gift!

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A close friend of mine brought this frog to me right after my husband passed away. This little message has been a strength to me and a reminder that I need the continual help from my Heavenly Father and Christ. Without them I am weak.

What does it mean to you to Forever Rely on God?

Today in Stake Conference I learned that to ‘Rely’ on someone is to have FULL confidence and trust in that person. Nothing wavering!

The time to gain that trust and confidence is not when you are in the middle of a crisis. The time is now! But how? How do we gain that unwavering confidence in our Father in Heaven and Our Savior Jesus Christ now?….so that when those walls come tumbling down They will sustain us and strengthen us, as we fully Rely on them.

As my Stake President stated today, “we need to know Our Savior more personally.” For me this has come gradually through studying my Heavenly Father’s plan and the Life and mission of Jesus Christ. The Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit can help you to know them more personally as you humble yourselves, pray…asking in faith, and having a desire to know.

It has taken me along time to improve my relationship with my Savior. It has not been an easy road for me as it might have been for others. I have had my share of highs and lows, questions and even doubts. But as I have studied the life of Christ, striving to live as He did and fighting the adversary all the way, I have come to love and rely on my Savior to guide me, to strengthen me and to carry me when I am too weak to stand on my own. I testify of the truthfulness of these things.

I will ‘Forever RELY on God!’

Comments welcome on fb or at ctr75@comcast.net

This post will probably be one of the most difficult for me to share and my hope is that those of you who have lost a child will find peace, growth and goodness in one of the most difficult trials. I also hope that those of you who haven’t lost a child will have a deeper compassion for those who have.

My first son, Trent Ray was a much quieter baby during my pregnancy than my girls had been. So I wasn’t too alarmed when I didn’t feel him move one day in my seventh month. But then the second day came and the level of my alarm elevated as he was still not moving. I called my doctor and he sent me to the hospital. They weren’t able to get a heart beat but told me it could just be the position of the baby. (Not something they would say nowdays.) They were ready to send me home but I had a strong feeling I needed to stay at the hospital. About thirty minutes later I was delivering my little stillborn son. So perfect and tiny.

Two years later once again in my seventh month my little boy stopped moving. I went straight to the hospital where an ultrasound was done confirming my baby boy, Bryan Derrell had died. This time labor was induced and after 12 hours of agony both physically and emotionally I delivered my second stillborn son. As I held him I marveled at his delicate and perfect little body.

My last pregnancy was my most difficult. My water broke at two and a half months and I was put on complete bed rest. My doctor informed me that the odds of carrying this baby were not good. I wanted to try anyway. I stayed in bed, drinking lots of paregoric. (Something used to stop contractions in the olden days.) At 7 months I learned I was carrying twins. I was so elated! They said they were boys but I was actually carrying identical girls. Seven weeks before my due date I went into labor and delivered my first daughter Karen Eva through the birth canal then 12 minutes later by emergency cesarean delivered my second daughter. Words can’t express how happy and relieved I was that they were both alive! Three days later Karen died from a strep B infection she picked up in delivery. As I held her still warm little body I felt that apart of me had died too.

I am here on this blog of mine to not only share and lift but also to be real and totally truthful. Losing my three little Angels, (little by little) filled my heart and soul with anguish beyond measure, jealousy, hatred and doubt in all I had hoped to be true.

Over the years I have grown, (once again little by little) from the experience of carrying and having these precious little babies.

Trent taught me to evaluate my life and where I was in my progression. What did I stand for? What goals did I have? What kind of a wife and mother was I? Would I be found good enough to have my son again?

Bryan taught me that I could find answers to any questions about God’s plan for me in the scriptures. As I struggled for understanding and desired for my Heavenly Father to communicate with me and explain to me why I had lost a second child, I found answers and comfort in the scriptures.

Karen taught me how very real Satan is. And how important it is for me to do those things that keep my beliefs and testimony of my Father in Heaven and My Savior strong. After Karen died my doubts, jealousy and hatred grew to the point that I didn’t know what I believed anymore.

Now 35 years later I can honestly say I am grateful for the storms of life, the refining process we all go through. For I would not be the person I am today without these trials. I would not be able to testify to you of the truthfulness of a living and loving Heavenly Father and of our living Elder Brother Jesus Christ who died for each one of us, and who makes it possible for us to be with our loved ones and all the little Angels who have passed on to the other side.

All Lives, No Matter How Short Or Long Have Great Purpose!

(Moroni 8:17) “And I am filled with charity, which is everlasting love; wherefore, all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and partakers of salvation.”

Comments welcome on fb or at ctr75@comcast.net