Category: Personal Growth Page 16 of 21

Last Sunday I guess I must have been extremely distracted, by who or what I’m not sure. It was my week to play the organ at church and so I went early as I generally do. I pulled into the church parking lot, put my mask on, grabbed my bag of music and went inside the church. After I had been playing prelude for about 10 mins. A man approached me at the organ and asked me if I had intended to leave my car running. I was totally shocked that I had done that! Was it the onset of dementia or was I so distracted that I lost complete focus of what I was doing? Have you ever been there?

If I could change one thing in my life, that would be to have my husband by my side, but since that isn’t possible for the time being I have chosen to be busy, to serve others and to be as active as possible. I know it is what works for me, it brings me some measure of joy, but I do need more work in staying focused on what I am doing at the present time. My mind seems to wander alot. Dodging distractions can be difficult in our fast paced world. If you struggle with this…. continue reading for a few tips that might help you to stay focused.

Note: distractions can be internal as well as external

1. Take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, exercise and eat healthy. Spend at least 30 mins. each day doing something you enjoy.
2. If you feel like you have over- extended yourself, cut back on something. You don’t have to say yes to everything.
3. Avoid getting overly stressed. Only you know what you can handle and what you can’t.
4. It seems to help me to write things down when I have alot going on. I cross things off as I accomplish them.
5. Take a break, (daily if possible) from all electronic devices. It can feel so refreshing.
6. Manage your time carefully allowing for the unexpected.
7. Have a checkup if none of these suggestions seem to help you with staying focused.

Be kind to yourself and slow down a little. You’ll be glad you did!

by Tanya Christiansen

Yesterday was a great day to reflect on our Mothers and other great women in our lives. Quiet times give us the opportunity to reflect on other memories as well.

Memories are varied, some being painful and hopefully subdued with time. Others bring joy and laughter, and even others bring lessons learned and experiences that have helped shape us into the individuals we are.

I have often wished that I could forget certain memories and regrets, but sometimes all you can do is work at filling your mind with good memories and reflecting on positive things that have brought you growth and joy.

There is much we can learn from those of our ancestors who have gone on before us. There wisdom can be priceless and help us in our lives today. And likewise… those things you are experiencing today can be equally valuable to those who come after you have passed on.

Ask questions and share stories that inspire your loved ones to press forward in strength and perseverance. I challenge you today to take a moment and reflect on one good memory. Certainly there is at least one!

A Memory Shared Is A Priceless Treasure!

By Tanya Christiansen

Comments welcome!

This post is definitely a subject relative to myself but hopefully helpful to someone else struggling with patience. Unfortunately I am not a very patient person, but I am in pursuit of becoming one. Life offers many situations that test our patience. What can we learn from developing this attribute?

I, personally can not handle traffic and slow drivers. The past few weeks I have found myself in several traffic jams. Sitting in my car at green lights unable to proceed. I tend to get very frustrated and sometimes say things I shouldn’t say. I’m certain my blood pressure and heart rate rise too. It would be so much better if I exercised a little self control and took advantage of these moments to learn how to be patient and use these short periods of time to ponder and think, listen to music, or visit with the passenger riding with me. Instead my frustration sometimes sets the mood for the rest of my day, making it difficult to feel calm and peaceful.

Traffic jams are only one example of something that tests our patience. What about the traffic jams of life? Are we patient in difficult confrontations at work and home, during illness, or personal struggles that make it difficult to proceed and move forward? If you have read any of my other posts you are aware of significant challenges I have had. These challenges have demanded patience in overcoming the negative effects they have brought into my life. I have learned to take baby steps when I have really just wanted to leap to the finish line where the burdens I carry feel light and I feel lasting peace. One thing I have learned is that it doesn’t work that way. In my opinion it seems that all good things that bring lasting peace require much effort, trusting in divine help and guidance and of course, much patience!!!

I am still not where I want to be and maybe that’s how it is for everyone. I believe progression is Eternal. There is always more to learn. Patience can teach us that we can endure difficult things. I wait everyday to be with my late husband and children again. Enduring can strengthen us if we look for the lessons we can learn. I find comfort in knowing that God can help me develop patience if I put my trust in Him and His timing, but it won’t happen if I sit back and wait. I have to put forth great effort to change my ways and become better….. more loving and kind and more patient with myself and others.

Patience is not the ability to wait but it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while you wait!

One day, my young granddaughter made the comment to her mom that she had had the worst day ever! When asked why, she replied, “because we didn’t do anything fun today!” I have always remembered her comment which caused me to do some deep thinking about happiness.

There are many outside activities and even things that can bring enjoyment into your life for a period of time, but this kind of joy isn’t lasting. For example, today I found enjoyment attending church, looking at the tree that was just planted in my yard and playing my piano. These things made me happy for a short period of time. There is much in this world that can bring a smile to your face, laughter and feelings of pleasure and satisfaction.

In the past few years I have searched for a deeper kind of happiness that comes from the inside out, deep within your soul….. and can be with you 100 percent of the time, even during challenges and sorrows. For me this Happiness comes from being content with who I am, how I act, and how I treat others. It comes from knowing that I’m definitely not perfect and it’s okay if I make mistakes because that’s how I learn. This happiness comes when I serve others and when I allow myself the same courtesy and respect. This Happiness comes from knowing that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and a Savior who died for me and lives again, making it possible for all mankind to have Eternal life and Eternal relationships. What great joy that knowledge brings to me!

It is so easy to become discouraged, unhappy and even depressed. Life can be overwhelming. I used to wonder why I couldn’t keep up with my countless responsibilities like other people. I often felt like I barely had my head above water. Comparing yourself to others is one quick way to drive true happiness away. Life is not a race though it often feels that way. What you think you see in someone else might not be true at all. Happiness lies within the goodness you have to offer. Everyone has a gift and something valuable to share with others.

If you are not as happy as you want to be, seek help. Counseling might not be for everyone, but for me it was the number one best thing I ever did for myself. Facing and talking about those destructive things that were bottled up inside of me gave me clarity and understanding. As I discarded those things the windows were open for good things to enter in, filling my soul with a greater joy than I had ever experienced. The skills I have learned have literally helped change my life for the better! While sorrow can pull you down, true Happiness can help you stand up straight and tall even in the midst of deep struggles. You can always find things to be grateful for. You can develop an optimistic outlook. You can feel great joy when you serve others. Jesus Christ gave the ultimate example of how to be Happy. He truly showed the way! I believe true Happiness lies deep within each of us waiting to be discovered and to be shared with others!

Sorrows and trials will come and go but Happiness from the inside out can prevail!

About a year ago a very dear friend of mine, (in an attempt to help me through a difficult moment) said to me, “Be Proactive.” After some research I came to the realization that for the majority of the time I was… instead Reacting to change and life’s difficulties. When I reacted without thinking first I lost control of the situation I was faced with, placing the blame on outside circumstances. This left me feeling frustrated, unhappy and sometimes even angry.

Being Proactive allows us to dictate to our self our actions and behavior, being in control of a situation even before it occurs. That doesn’t mean that we won’t experience sorrow, frustration, and disappointment during the storms of life…it just means that we can actively remain in control of our actions and handle future difficulties in a pleasing manner to ourselves.

There will always be the occasional driver who cuts you off, the alarm that fails to ring, the disobedient child, the list a mile long of things you need to do. The lost job, the sickness that passes through your entire family, the passing of a loved one. That is life! Will you react….. thinking life is totally unfair or will you be proactive having a plan before these things occur.

Being Proactive means:

1.You will be accountable for your actions.

2. You will be solution focussed.

3. You will allow for flexibility.

4. You will think ahead before something occurs.

Make a plan now for the future, prepare yourself and self reflect on your position at the present time. Are you a light on a hill for others to follow? Or is your countenance one of sorrow and dissapointment?

I am still working on being proactive. Thinking outside of myself and my own struggles, has been a big factor in changing a false appearance of who I am. I know there are great benefits in learning this concept. Benefits that can help all of us through the daily struggles of life without being beaten down. My friend had great wisdom in speaking those words to me and I will be forever grateful! My hope in sharing this is that you also can be better prepared for what lies ahead and uplifted during your challenges. I can’t end this post without giving credit to my Savior Jesus Christ who has helped me make significant changes in my life. He has been with me every step of the way.

Evaluate where you are and where you want to be!

Our world is full of voices and sounds. Do you hear the commotion and confusion? Everyone is in such a hurry. Do you hear the voices of despair and discontent or the cries of pain and suffering? Do you hear the sorrow and agony of someone who is lost and broken? Those people are all around us. They are in our neighborhoods, our work places and even in our families. Do you hear anger and contention? Do you hear words and voices that lift you up or pull you down? How do you process what you hear? What are your children hearing?

If you listen closely you can hear sounds that enlighten your understanding. Words that teach goodness and patience, and have the ability to enlarge your soul. Do you hear laughter, playing and singing, or the many sounds of nature? Some voices encourage and give hope, others ring with determination!

If we listen with our hearts, we can hear so much more than with our ears. There are voices reaching out for help and guidance, or the voice of someone needing a friend and a listening ear. Don’t forget to listen for the silent voice that is screaming, that only your heart can hear. Are you careful of those things you say to others? Words have such a strong impact. What kinds of things do you tell yourself? Do you listen to thoughts and impressions that inspire you to act?

I hear these things loud and clear! With my ears and my heart. Do you hear what I hear? It is so easy to become distracted by all the sounds around us, but we can choose what we listen to. We can decide what voices and sounds we will ignore and which ones we will allow to penetrate our souls. We can be grateful for those voices that give us the courage and strength to move forward, boldly and proud, facing life’s challenges with a happy heart.

Do you hear Him?

Listening with your heart can lift you to a whole new level of wisdom and understanding!

Who would have ever thought that emptiness could bring complete fulfillment and indescribable joy!!! The Empty Tomb is music to my ears!!! If you know me at all, you know how much I love music! But the empty tomb of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ plays a song above all other songs I have ever played or listened too. There is no comparison!

St.Luke 24:1-7

“Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came into the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre. And they entered in and found not the body of the Lord Jesus. And it came to pass as they were much perplexed thereabouts, two men stood by them in shining garments: And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee, Saying, The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.”

Because Jesus Christ broke the band’s of death, all men will be resurrected. I testify of the truthfulness and reality of that statement. I look forward to resurrection morning when I will have the opportunity, if found worthy, to be with my husband, my two sons, my daughter, my mom, my dad and numerous other relatives and friends who have passed on.

The Empty Tomb swallows up all fears and uncertainties about whether or not there is life after death. One seeking for that knowledge can know of its reality through the power of prayer and the witness of the Holy Spirit.

I love Easter and the celebration of Eternal Life! It can be difficult to be separated from those we love but our sorrows can turn to comfort, peace and even joy! Come unto Him who made it possible for all to live again!!!

The Empty Tomb Plays The Most Beautiful Tune!

Our amazing brains are very good at collecting information from those things we hear and see, but they are also very good at collecting and storing thoughts we have, both good and bad. So how do we get rid of those negative thoughts we have in our heads??? Let me share with you the things I have done to change my thought process.

First you need to determine wether or not this is an issue for you. I never realized how much negative and distorted garbage was in my head until I tried this experiment. For several days I carried a notepad around with me as I went through my daily routine. I paid attention to the thoughts I was having and jotted them down no matter what they were. It turned out to be quite a bit of writing. At the end of each day I read my notes. Sad but true, the majority of my thoughts were negative. Some about other people and their actions and comments, alot about myself, past issues and unpleasant memories. Not much about the present or what I was doing at the moment. Frankly I was quite shocked.

I want to share with you the things I did to eliminate those negative falsehoods from my thought process. I have to be honest in telling you that this is probably the hardest work I have ever done. I have been working at this for about five years now. It’s not really important how those thoughts enter our minds but much more important to stop the destruction they are causing to us as a person. But don’t get discouraged. It is possible to change your thinking!

Research has shown that mental illness can also affect our physical wellness. I am a total believer of that theory! Feeling worthless, sad or depressed can also affect the way we treat other people.

As I continued to pay attention to my thoughts, and noticed that I was thinking something negative, I would stop what I was doing and put it to the test. This required asking myself some questions. Is this thought true? Could there be another explanation? Was this person having a bad day? Does this thought do me harm or good? Should I replace this thought with something positive? Am I a good person in spite of what happened to me? Am I going to let someone else control my thinking or will I take charge of what I allow to enter my mind? The first few months I did this it was a little challenging but eventually it became a habit? I still use this technique occasionally but I am much quicker to discard the negative thought and replace it with truth.

Stop assuming you know all the facts behind someone’s rude comment or action. Assumptions generally are far from the truth. It is almost impossible to love other people when you don’t like yourself. Decide who you are and what makes you happy. If you have been abused, harboring bad thoughts allows your perpetrator to continue having power over you. Choosing to let go of destructive thoughts gives you the ability to make good choices. Happiness is a choice! Be grateful! Think positive! Be forgiving and you will feel a weight lifted. Give yourself credit for the good thoughts you have!

You are a child of God. He loves you with a perfect love. His Son came and suffered for all mankind. He felt every pain and suffering known to men. He knows those thoughts and feelings you hold within yourself. He has deep compassion for you and will strengthen you so you can endure your suffering if you will only ask Him. Christ can help you replace lies with the truth. Seek after Him who truly knows how you are feeling.

Don’t let bad thoughts trap you in darkness! Share your feelings with someone you trust!

Read Related Posts of Mine

‘Cleaning Out the Closet’ and ‘A Work in Progress’

Comments welcome on facebook or at ctr75@comcast.net

The scriptures contain numerous accounts of Angels visiting mortal beings to bring messages of truth and warning, ministering to their needs, and providing strength and protection. It was an Angel who pronounced the pending birth of Jesus Christ to the young woman Mary, who would be His mother. The Savior himself was visited by an Angel to give Him strength while He was suffering in the Garden of Gethsemene. I believe that for some of our loved one’s who have passed on, a calling or responsibility might be to minister to the needs of those of us still living here on Earth. The blessing of ministering Angels may or may not be recognized but it will always be sacred.

In my opinion there are two kinds of Angels, those you can see and those you can’t. My main focus for this post is to talk about those Angels we pass by in the grocery store, or who sit across from us on the bus or plane. There are Angels that live in our neighborhoods and maybe in our own families. My street…. should be called Angel Street! I have been so blessed to be surrounded and uplifted by Angels who live nearby. All Angels have hearts of gold filled with the pure love of Christ. Their thoughts turn to the need’s of others before their own. Angels exemplify the highest form of love called Charity.

Years ago I wrote a true story called ‘Angels from Orem’. It was based on an experience our family had in 1986. We decided to take our five daughters, ages 7 months, 3 years, 6 years, 8 years and 10 years, to the pageant in Manti, Ut. We got off the freeway in Orem for a bathroom stop and our old van decided to quit running right in the middle of the intersection. The first Angel was a nice young man who helped my husband push our van out of the road and into a neighborhood. Luckily my husband had some mechanical experience and soon determined our fuel pump had gone out. By that time our kids were restless and wanted out of the van. We sat on the curb, (I’m sure being quite a sight), while my husband continued to remove the fuel pump. It wasn’t long until a flood of Angels came our way, offering a ride to the parts store, water, sandwiches and cookies, and extra hands to help install the new fuel pump. Before long we were on our way to Manti. My heart was so touched that I couldn’t wait to get home and write about our experience.

It is so easy to get caught up with our own responsibilities that we can’t seem to find time to be there for others, but… You and I might just be the Angels that someone else is praying for.

Do You Believe in Angels? I Sure Do!!!

Comments welcome at ctr75@comcast.net or on facebook