I feel not only happy but compelled to share this part of my story. I hope my words will be of value to you or even to parents who may have children who are struggling. I truly wish all children could grow up knowing their worth, their potential and the possibilities life has to offer them. Unfortunately that isnt the case.
I remember from a very young age being teased, bullied and even abused. I became very shy and was labeled an introvert. I remember cruel comments even into my adult years that only made me close within myself even more. Somewhere along the way I developed ‘victim identity’. I dont know when or why that happened, but it did. It became a part of who I thought I was. Always the victim. But it really wasn’t me at all. I came to except that bad things would happen to me through the words and actions of others, and they did. You would think that I was wearing a sign around my neck that said ‘hurt me’.
Having ‘victim identity’ robbed me of self esteem, self worth, good relationships, confidence, trust, integrity, hope and faith. Even though I felted trapped I also felt somewhat comfortable, (if that makes any sense) I guess because thats what felt familiar to me. As I have said before I felt safe in my own home. But when my husband passed it was like a train crash. Being completely derailed was definitely not what I expected. That’s when I came to understand that my survival would require the support of others. It would require opening up and facing those things that had happened to me, seeing them for what they truly were and discarding them. That is when I began the long road of pushing through those stumbling blocks that were keeping me from finding my true self as a daughter of God and believing in my royal heritage that came with strength, and Faith in my ability to succeed.
It was through professional counseling that I began to recognize those false attributes that I had accepted as who I was. Victim Identity was one of the biggest stumbling blocks I had to face. At first I felt so ashamed that I had allowed a false identity to control me. I couldn’t undo the hurtful words, actions and abuse but I could undo the effects those things had on me by changing my thought process and accepting the healing and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
The first step to shedding this false identity was to recognize and understand which stumbling blocks were having a negative effect in my life. One thing I needed was a support team. At first it was very difficult to trust anyone. Praying for strength consistently eventually gave me the courage to take those first few steps in the dark and reach out for help. I had a few trusted friends that I will be forever grateful for who stood by me buoying me up when I could not stand. I learned many helpful skills through counseling such as looking for the positive things in my life, expressing gratitude, being kind to myself, serving others, and forgiving those who had hurt me.
As I took control of my thoughts and actions, quietly and slowly over time I truly felt the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I began to know my true self. I testify that as you truly and consistently put forth effort to change and even discard those negative things in your life that Jesus Christ will give you the strength you need. That is a truth I could never deny!