Category: Personal Growth Page 20 of 21

One of the most difficult steps in this process of healing was learning to TRUST again. That’s when I felt ‘Stuck on the Fence’. As much as I wanted to swing my leg over and jump down to my ‘new beginning’ I just couldn’t seem to do it! My fears of feeling inferior or being hurt again over powered my Faith that I could trust those people who I chose to be apart of my life. Avoiding people as much as possible had become one of my coping skills over the years. It just felt more safe that way. My husband was ‘a people person‘ so in earlier years it worked out well when we attended things together. But now being alone, it became necessary to set boundaries and decide how involved I would be with the people I associated with.

As I worked with my therapist to improve my mental health and perceive the world correctly, I also worked with my church leader to improve my spiritual health. It was very surprising to me how often the suggestions from those two people connected and led me down the same path. My progress did not always go steadily forward. I often slipped backwards having to repeat steps such as reprocessing and redirecting my thoughts. It was at those moments that I wanted to quit and give into the darkness. I thank God everyday for those people who stood by me and encouraged me as I faced barriers and stumbling blocks.

Developing a personal relationship with my Father in Heaven and my Savior and trusting in their plan for me became a vital part of my healing. I studied the Atonement of Jesus Christ and learned that he had not only suffered for my sins but also for all of my pain and suffering caused by the wrong actions of other people. Christ himself had felt the physical, mental and emotional torment I had experienced.

After four years of intense work and the enabling and healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ I felt ready to leap to the other side of the fence. I called it my “leap of faith day.” My therapist called it discovery, which is testing those beliefs I had to see if they were accurate and then draw my own conclusion. I have found most of my fears to be inaccurate. There are good honest people in this world who genuinely care about my well being.

If your thoughts are often clinging to damaging and disturbing beliefs that keep you from enjoying life, you can find healing through Christ’s Atonement and if necessary through professional help. Seeking help is not a weakness but actually just the opposite.

It takes strength to say, “Help Me,” it takes strength to say, “Teach Me,” and it takes strength to say, “Show Me the Way.”

Comments welcome at ctr75@comcast.net or on facebook

I guess you could say that I am kind of ‘Old School’ when it comes to all the online stuff, the over use of electronics, the idea that ‘money can buy you happiness’, and less ‘In Person’ time and conversation with family and friends. I see these things in my own family and it deeply concerns me. The younger generation seems so enthralled in the advances of technology that I believe they miss out on some of those ‘old school’ lessons like living in your means, helping those less fortunate and working hard. Things I believe better develope those character traits such as honesty, compassion and gratitude.

My mom, who is now living at the age of 100 grew up during the Depression. She was one of fufteen children. She was placed in a home to be raised by a neighbor at a young age. She learned to save every penny, to make do with what you have. She worked hard, sewed clothing and canned food. To this very day she saves even little pieces of string to be used later. Her gift at Christmas was new socks. Not the latest X Box machine or a Nintendo switch.

Although I was not raised in a strong religious home, I was still taught that lying and cheating were not acceptable. In the short time that I have been online I am totally shocked by all of the scam artists and hackers trying to take your identity and your money in an effort to make their lives happier and easier.

My church leaders have asked us to ‘shape the world we live in’ through our example of righteousness. I am far from perfect but… I do …take back the 13 cents i’m over paid in my change at the grocery store, even when I get weird looks from people. I tell the truth. If I borrow something I return it.

But is that all there is to being Honest??? I think Honesty is much more!

The definition of the word Honesty includes: uprightness, truthfulness, nobility, moral correctness, virtuous, worthiness, reputability, righteousness, dependability, fidelity, directness, openness, integrity, frankness, and loyalty.

Does Honesty still prevail on the Earth today? Or is it something we are losing sight of?

Comments welcome at ctr75@comcast.net or you can write to me on facebook.

Once upon a time there was a strong noble servant of the Lord who had many responsibilities. Because of his diligence and kindness many people depended on him to protect, guide and strengthen them.

One late evening when this servant had a free moment, (which didn’t happen very often) he looked out over his garden and noticed how badly the weeds had taken over. Somewhere in the flourishing weed patch were some young beet plants struggling for survival. With determination he decided to tackle the situation head on with all the strength he could muster. With beads of sweat rolling down his face he pulled and tugged at the stubborn weeds, often snapping them off leaving the roots in the hard ground that held to them tightly. Sometimes he would mistakenly grab a tender young beet plant breaking it off before it had a chance to grow and fill the measure of its creation.

The noble servant soon learned that if he was to accomplish this task with his desired results that something had to change. He then soaked the hard ground and took more care in grasping the weeds gently yet firmly at the base of the stalk making sure his pull would also present the root. This method would make it a much longer time before a new weed would appear. As the ground softened and he proceeded cautiously he began to see the straight row of beet plants making their appearance. Although this was very time consuming, he realized it was more of a process than an event but well worth the effort as he was achieving the results he desired.

As the noble servant continued on with patience, hard work and the image in mind of a supper with a dish of tasty beets as the star of the table, he accomplished his task of weeding the beets. With his continued care of nourishing, weeding, and keeping the soil loose and moist, the beet plants will continue to produce delicious mature beets that will bring nourishment and pleasure to many.

There are many lessons we can learn from this parable. We all have a constant need to likewise care for the spiritual garden of our souls. Without constant nourishment and care, harmful weeds of mortality will take over and smother out the goodness in our minds and hearts. I have personally been in such a place. I can testify that the way back is long and hard.

Our Father in Heaven has given each of us the tools to keep us safe. These tools of Faith, Obedience, Repentance and Integrity will serve us well in keeping our Spirits free of disease and corruption. It is never too late to weed our Spiritual Garden. Our Father in Heaven has placed His noble servants on this earth to teach us and guide us. Following the example of our Savior Jesus Christ is our greatest tool against the adversary. Satan will take every opportunity to place barriers (or weeds) in our path!

In these days of uncertainty it is my hope and prayer that we may all have the courage and faith to follow those leaders whom we have sustained and take the time to nourish, cultivate and strengthen our Spiritual Gardens!

I love hearing from my readers. ctr75@comcast.net or you can write to me on facebook.

Maybe the reason I loved that scripture was because that was something I wanted to achieve. I didn’t like being in the spotlight for most of my life. In fact I did everything possible to not be noticed. I know this was because I felt I had no worth! So for all of you reading this post, please know right now that God doesn’t make junk. Every person who was ever born has great value and worth!

Think for a minute about the word ‘Light‘. Light is the opposite of darkness. Light is brilliant, it’s warm, it’s inviting, it’s comforting. Light enlightens. Light is goodness. Light leads the way! Light is a reassuring beacon!

No matter who you are or what your circumstances are, you are the son or daughter of a King. You have worth and value. You have much goodness to offer. Letting your light shine can attract others to follow. Find that light within you then share it with the world!!! This world needs you! You have within you the Light of Christ. Jesus Christ is the Light that shineth in darkness. You can trust that His Light will always be there for you.

I would love to hear your comments on light. Write to me at ctr75@comcast.net or on facebook.

(THIS POST IS DEFINITELY Not ABOUT HOUSE CLEANING)

If you are like me you might have a closet somewhere in your home that takes the brunt of all those things you are in a hurry to put somewhere and they don’t seem to have a place of their own. Does that sound familiar???

Every so often I end up taking everything out and starting anew, putting only certain things back that really belong there. Then decisions have to be made about what to do with the rest. Well some items get discarded or donated, some go to my adult children, and a few things end up in my basement because… who knows, they might become useful at some future date, Right? (PLEASE KEEP READING THIS DEFINITELY ISN’T ABOUT HOUSEWORK!)

As this closet of mine has been cleaned over the years I have recognized this process of sorting, organizing and discarding as something I could adopt and apply to my own personal progress. Each of us come into this world, pure, innocent and untarnished. But soon after our miraculous birth, life happens. Over the course of our mortal lives numerous experiences come our way. Some of them are great and rewarding while others may be negative, harsh and even damaging to our emotional and mental well being. All of these experiences positive or negative either have little effect on us, a big effect or no effect at all. As we grow and mature we begin to decide for ourselves what course we want to pursue, what we believe and don’t believe, and most importantly whom we want to become.

Unfortunately for me it took losing my spouse to cancer and feeling completely alone with no desire to continue before I began to realize just how overly stuffed my mind and heart were with negative feelings and thoughts. Just like my overly stuffed closet!!! My emotional and mental well being were at a very ugly place. I knew that if I was to survive and learn to stand on my own two feet without my husband physically by my side that I needed to somehow shed the heavy load that I had carried most of my life.

It took encouragement from others before I was ready to seek the help I needed. I know that my Father in Heaven put the right people in my life to help me. This process was one of the hardest and most painful things I have ever done, but with the most rewarding results. Part of healing was talking openly about negative things that had happened to me, excepting compassion where compassion was due and letting go or discarding those things from my thought process. I know that after I did all that I could do….. healing has come slowly and quietly but also in a very profound way through the Atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ. I feel like a new person. I feel lighter and happier. I feel my Saviors love for me!

If you struggle with low self esteem, fear, jealousy, lonliness, or depression…. ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way”. Face those feelings inside of you and ask, “is this something I want inside of me? Does it do me good or harm? Is it useful? Can it bring me lasting peace and happiness or should it be discarded?” Getting rid of all the lies, half truths and distorted feelings inside of you will feel like a great weight lifted. Only keep those things inside that are true to who you are and what you believe! Ask others to help you! YOU are unique! Be proud of who YOU are!!! No one can offer this world what YOU can! Comments are welcome.

I’m not really sure how I missed the beauty in this world. Maybe it was the busy-ness of having and raising five anxious, emotional daughters while my husband provided for us as an over-the-road truck driver. We always planted a garden and bottled the fruit from our bug infested trees. We took camping trips each year and did lot’s of activities outdoors as a family when my husband was home. But somehow I missed really seeing the beauty around me. It wasn’t until I was much older that I really began to notice and appreciate God’s creations.

Well one day my path crossed with a woman. I will call her ‘Joy’. I was at a point in my life of really needing someone. My husband had passed away and the hardships in my life had pulled me down to the level of despair. Deep, dark, despair! ‘Joy’ was always there when I needed her. We walked and we talked, and in between our words she noticed the beauty around us. She pointed out different thing’s that caught her eye. Things that I was blind to. And then she would call me and say, “hurry and look out your window, there’s a rainbow.” Or she would say, “come over and see this swallowtail or this hummingbird.” Each time I went over she pointed to different flowers and trees with complete enthusiasm.

One day ‘Joy‘ and I went for a drive and she took me to a place where there were hundred’s of beautiful iris in every color imaginable. At Christmas time she took me to a nursery that was filled with vibrant red poinsettias. At first I thought, “How could anyone be so excited about nature.” But as time went on my enthusiasm and appreciation for the beautiful world we live in grew, and with it came a newfound tranquility that I had never experienced.

Eventually I bought a nice camera and started taking pictures. I grew to love not only what I was seeing but I also grew to love those quiet moments with just me and the world of nature. Those moments helped to lift me from my despair and photography became one of my favorite hobbies.

If you don’t already….. I would encourage you to soak in the beauty of God’s creations. Take a deeper look at the world around you which is glorious and beautiful! I believe that Nature is one of the many evidences that our Father in Heaven truly loves his children! (Comments are welcome at ctr75@comcast.net or on Facebook.)

” And now, o my son (or daughter) whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.”

Hi Everyone,

This week I want to share with you one of my many imperfections. And that is Perfectionism. Of course it is great to have a desire to succeed. Always striving to do our best can improve our sense of self. But it can also be damaging if we set the bar too high. What is your definition of Perfect? I believe that progression is vital to becoming the person our Father in Heaven desires for us to be. But how do you feel when your decisions and actions fall below your idea of perfection? Do you beat yourself up for days or do you focus on the efforts you did make, realizing that tomorrow is another day and you can try again?

My need to be Perfect started at a very young age. I developed the misconception that in order to feel loved and accepted that I had to perform perfectly. As I have learned in counseling, I set the bar way too high for myself. This misconception in my head was not about pushing myself to achieve, but instead it was about performing to belong. I also felt that I couldn’t say no to anything or anyone. This idea actually got me into some very bad situations where I felt that it was better to go along with what was being asked than to be rejected or exposed as a failure.

Our Father in Heaven did not put us here in mortality to become perfect. He put us here to learn and grow, knowing that we would make many mistakes. In the scriptures we are taught, “Be ye therefore perfect”. A wise Bishop once taught me to add the word ‘Eventually‘ to the end of that scripture.

Our Savior Jesus Christ payed for all of those times that we make mistakes and fail to be perfect. None of us will reach Perfection in this life. The important thing is that we pick ourselves up and try again. Tomorrow is another day! Be kind to yourself! I would love to hear your comments and insights on perfectionism. You can comment here, or write me on facebook or at ctr75@comcast.net. Have a great Imperfect day!

• Marriage & Family Life
• Parenting
• Personal Growth
• Uncategorized

I read a great article in a magazine Sunday morning titled “Catch the vision, share the vision.” This really got me thinking alot about physical vision versus spiritual vision.

I received my first pair of eye glasses in the second grade and have hated wearing glasses ever since. I’ve worn hard contacts and soft contacts with no success in getting use to them. So I’m back to glasses that I wear mostly when I drive. So the rest of the time I do a lot of squinting. I have actually missed out on seeing things as vibrant and clear as I should. Reading signs is difficult. And then I have those annoying floaters that jump in my vision path and make things even more distorted.

There is much that can be done these days with poor eye sight, and new procedures are developing all the time. But what about Spiritual vision. How clearly do you see and understand the purpose of life, why you are here in mortality and where you are going after you die??? Or is your spiritual vision muddy?

Much like my physical vision. I often take a moment or two to evaluate how clearly I am seeing and understanding those things that a wise and loving Father in Heaven desires for me to see. Just like eye glasses can correct and improve your physical vision, following the teachings of Jesus Christ can not only help us see our purpose from an Eternal Perspective, but it can also correct and improve our Spiritual Vision when it becomes cloudy. We are not meant to remain in the dark but to cling to the light which is His light, until it grows brighter and brighter!

I would love to hear your comments and ideas on spiritual vision. Write to me at ctr75@comcast.net

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Where is your safe place???

We all need a safe place where we can go or something we can do, if only for a moment to breathe. Catching our breath helps us to relieve stress and allows the multiple thoughts in our heads to rest. You may be thinking that you don’t have the time and that life is just meant to be crazy. Or perhaps you are in the middle of deep grieving or suffering from depression and feel like you are just going through the motions and not really living. That is exactly how I felt when my husband of 40 years was diagnosed and passed away from pancreatic cancer all within 8 months. I wasn’t prepared to be a widow at 59 years of age. But how do you ever really prepare for that.

My ‘safe place’ became playing the piano. And even though I have enjoyed playing my entire life, it took on a new and deeper meaning for me. The first few months after his passing I often played the piano for hours in the middle of the night, which was my way of escaping the lonliness.

Now as time has passed on, I turn to my ‘safe place’ and play very often for enjoyment, to breathe, to collect my thoughts and even to feel the gentle whisperings of the Spirit. Those notes I hear as I play have become the songs of my heart, which penetrate deep within me and Lift me to a place where I wish I could always be. I hope that those who hear me play might in some small way feel the peace that I feel. Your safe place might be taking a walk and feeling a gentle breeze on your face, looking at the clouds, reading your favorite novel or just sitting quietly. Take time for yourself each day, if only for a moment or two. You deserve it!!!