Tonight I am feeling especially grateful for all of my true friends!
I true friend keeps walking with you year after year even when you slow her down. A true friend talks to you til midnight even when shes totally exhausted. A true friend brings you a family size bag of wavy lays just to let you know they care. A true friend helps you baby sit so you can have a break. I true friend lends their truck and goes with you to the dump. A true friend tries to fill in for your grandchildren’s late Grandpa. A true friend has confidence in you even when you don’t have it in yourself. A true friend rides with you through the storms of life even if they don’t know how to ease your burden.
I could go on and on of what I think a true friend is…..but more importantly I have learned that to have a friend you must first… be a friend. Friendship is a state of mutual trust and support. As human beings we all have the basic needs of being cared for as well as caring for others which brings friendship full circle.
Friendship can have its ups and downs like any other relationship but its strength will help it to prevail. Making allowances for imperfections up front reduce disappointments later on. No one is perfect, not even a true friend!
If you seek friendship, go after it by being a Friend!
by Tanya Christiansen
comments welcome on facebook or at ctr75@comcast.net
As a naive young mother I didn’t want anything to change? I prayed for no sickness in our family, no financial difficulties, well behaved children, and no disagreements in my marriage. Well, I received none of those things, in fact it was quite the opposite! Troubles, troubles everywhere! Sickness, difficult pregnancies, death, loss of employment, less than well behaved children, struggles in our marriage and loss of self confidence.
I soon learned that life is full of change. It doesn’t matter who you are, you wont escape change! It might even happen on a daily basis.
This is my formula for finding MY new normal:
Accept change. It’s life. Change doesn’t always bring hardships. It can also bring new opportunities, growth and new friends.
Be patient with yourself. Things might feel different, lonely or awkward for a while. It’s okay, don’t beat yourself up.
Have a good attitude and hope in a better tomorrow. Ask yourself what can I learn from this change in my life?
If the change is causing you unmanageable grief or stress find someone to talk to.
The first two years after my husband’s passing I waited and waited for things to return to normal. My therapist stopped that waiting when he told me things would never be the same. I wasn’t too happy when I left his office that day. His words took away my hope. But it was something I needed to hear because what I was waiting for was totally unrealistic. As much as I wanted it, my husband was not going to walk through the door. So for the next year or so I tried to accept that I was just going to be lonely and depressed for the rest of my life. As I continued with therapy I realized that I was the only one who could change things for the better. My life as I once knew it for 40 years with my husband by my side was gone, but if I really wanted to be happy I would have to find a new normal.
These past few years have been quite the adventure for me. First I evaluated my life and where I was, compared to where I wanted to be. ( I had much work to do). Next I tried to spend a little time each day doing something enjoyable or relaxing. And last……. I worked hard at serving others. This past year has taught me that I can be happy again. I’m not going to allow change to make me miserable. I have a new normal now until the next change comes my way. I have learned that I have friends and family I can turn to and I am much stronger than I thought.
Don’t let change determine how you react. Embrace it and keep going forward. Change is a normal part of life. You can learn from it if you allow it to teach you.
Perhaps the definition of normal should be- ‘Accepting change’.
by Tanya Christiansen
comments welcome on facebook or at ctr75@comcast.net
I got this bracelet a few years ago and have enjoyed having these simple words to remind of things that I sometimes overlook or take for granite.
Dream– Dare to dream for dreams often become reality but sometimes take much determination and hard work to achieve.
Enjoy Nature-Look for the beauty in God’s creations. We are blessed with each season that brings us a variety of colorful selections and smells.
Nourish- Eat healthy, get plenty of sleep and exercise to improve the quality and longevity of mortal life.
Think Positive– There is believed to be power in positive thinking. One might think it to be very similar to Faith. Remember Faith can move mountains.
Create- Create an environment of peace and love with traditions and memories that last forever.
Love Your Life– Look for the good in life and embrace it.
Family Time-Families come in all varieties but each member can be uplifted by spending time together and drawing on the strengths of each other.
Friendship–A true friend is a gift from God. A gift that lifts and loves without judgement.
Fitness– Becoming fit takes great discipline. You can’t cheat and expect it to work.
Gratitude- Being grateful makes what we have enough, in any and all circumstances.
Feed the Soul- There is no better or more satisfying food for our Spirits than the teachings of Christ.
The Crown- The teachings of the Bracelet, if followed, can help lead us home to our Father in Heaven where someday we will receive our Crown of Glory and Eternal Happiness!
By Tanya
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Once upon time there was a poor farmboy who inherited his father’s land. On this land was a very very tiny house and a barn that was larger than the tiny house. He also inherited two cows, three goats, a half dozen chickens and one horse. The poor farm boy soon grew up and took himself a wife who also had two cats and one dog which slept in the tiny house with the farm boy and his wife.
The farm boy started to feel that the tiny house just wasn’t big enough and his wife was due to have their first child any day. The dog and the cats were constantly fighting and winter was fast approaching. The farm boy thought about moving his family into the barn which was much larger than the tiny house but his animals needed the shelter especially with winter coming. So one day the farm boy hitched up his horse to the buggy stored behind the barn and rode to town to speak to the king about his problem.
The king made the farm boy promise to do exactly as he instructed and his problem would soon be solved. His first instructions were to go home and move all the chickens into the tiny house. As crazy as that sounded to the farm boy he followed the king’s instructions and did as he was told to do. Now there was not only the barking of the dog and the hissing of the cats but also the clucking of the chickens. Soon his child was born and there was no rest for anyone.
The farm boy returned to the king and the king told him to also move into the tiny house, one goat. While the barn was starting to look very inviting to the farm boy he did as he was told and moved the goat into the tiny house. The animals were now on the beds, the table, and the goat was eating everything in sight.
The farm boy once again returned and told the king that there was no more space anywhere in the tiny house. The king then told the farm boy to go home and remove all the animals including the dog and the two cats. To the farm boy’s surprise the tiny house no longer felt tiny at all. It was quiet and peaceful in the tiny house and there was ample room for all of the farm boy’s belongings and the belongings of his wife and child. The farm boy felt so grateful for his tiny house!
By Tanya Christiansen
The lesson taught in this parable is gratitude. Are we grateful for those things we have? Or are we always wishing that we had more? Do we recognize those blessings that are not tangible like life, love, health and family?
Showing Gratitude is a Great Attitude to Have!!!
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Today is independence day! I’m so grateful for this great land we live in! Many years ago men were led by God to this land of promise and opportunities. Hero’s like my brother (pictured above) fought for the rights and freedom of all who live in this great country. Freedom to make choices that will determine the kind of life we will have. I thank my brother and all who serve and have served to protect and uphold these freedoms! Freedoms that hopefully we do not take for granite. Many have made great sacrifices in our behalf. Some have lost their lives while others have lost limbs. And still others have lost sight and the ability to walk and think for themselves like my brother.
My other hero is my Savior Jesus Christ. He….. who has made the greatest sacrifice of all! He has been spit on, mocked, and persecuted throughout his short life. And finally tortured on the cross to give all mankind Eternal Life. He suffered the greatest of all pain that no mortal man could endure. He bled from every pore for you and for me! Do we realize the gift these Hero’s have given to all?
To close my post I want to share the chorus to one of my favorite songs: by Michael W. Smith called ‘Above All.’
” Crucified, layed behind a stone, He lived to die rejected and alone. Like a rose trampled on the ground, He took the fall and thought of me, above all.”
In 1982 I delivered our 4th child, a beautiful dark haired baby boy who had died about 48 hours before delivery. There were complications and I hemorraged which required some blood transfusions. From a medical standpoint we were advised not to proceed with having more children, but I felt very strongly that we should not be done. On the other hand my husband was ready to call it quits. We prayed and fasted together but still had different feelings.
One Saturday my husband went up the canyon to spend some time alone to ponder and pray about our situation. When he came home several hours later he walked in the door, looked at me and said, “time is of the essence“. As we prayed for further understanding we both knew that there were more children to come to our family, but there were reasons for us to hurry. Over the next few years I delivered three more daughters and one more son. Two of those children remained with our family and two of them passed away as infants. The last two came together and shortly after they were born I required a full hysterectomy because of hemmoraging. I thank my Heavenly Father for simple words that gave us guidance and direction and helped us to complete our family before time ran out.
Perhaps those words ‘Time is of theEssense‘ might be good advice in other areas of life. Maybe putting off til tomorrow what we could or should do today might be wise advise. How we use our time plays a big part in the outcome or results of each day and each event or situation. Although it’s good sometimes to slow down it can be equally important in other situations to speed things up. That was the case for us in having our children.
I’m grateful for a Father in Heaven who heard our pleas and gave us such direct and precise guidance during a crucial time. Nothing is of too little importance to Him. If it is important to you, it is important to Him.
Ask and God Will Enlighten You!
By Tanya Christiansen
Comments welcome on facebook or at ctr75@comcast.net
Although we are born in the image and likeness of our Heavenly parents we are still very unique compared to one another. We have our own personalities, appearance, talents, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. It would become very boring if we were all exactly the same. But are you true to who you really are? Do you follow the crowd? Do you change your opinion to go along with whom ever you are around? Do you lower your standards or hide your beliefs to fit in? Do you keep quiet when you should speak up?
There are many things that can keep us from finding our authentic self….. starting when we are born. Environment can have a deep and lasting effect. Where we live, our cultures, those things we are taught or not taught when we are small to name a few. I believe we all reach a point in our development when we ask ourselves the question who am I?
Sad to say I spent a lot of years not knowing who I really was, going along with whatever I was faced with not having the integrity or courage to speak up. It kind of felt like sitting on the sidelines looking in at the world happening in front of me but not really knowing how I could contribute. I think most teens and adults can remember times of having similar feelings. It has taken me a life time to find myself, my strengths and weaknesses, my likes and dislikes. And even still I sometimes surprise myself when I voice an opinion.
It is very possible to live in peace and harmony with all of the diversity that exists in this world. Like the colors of the rainbow, unique individuals joined together brings beauty. We can be true to ourselves while showing respect to others opinions and beliefs. God has given each of his children at least one gift or talent. We can seek to know our spiritual gifts. He loves each of his children with a perfect love. If we desire to know our authentic self, through prayer the Lord can teach us who we are and who he desires us to become.
I no longer wrestle with knowing who I am. I know not only who I am but also what I stand for, what I believe in and what length I will go to, to defend myself and those beliefs. I know that I have great potential and will continue to learn and grow. Don’t be afraid to show your true self to others. You are unique and have great worth and potential!!!
Who are you?
By Tanya Christiansen
Comments welcome on Facebook or at ctr75@comcast.net
Thougha mustard seed is very small, the height of the plant that grows from it is very great!
If you have faith as a grain of a mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain remove hence to yonder place and it shall remove, and nothing shall be impossible to you. (Matt. 17:20)
Faith is to hope for things that the eye can’t see. Certainly we have all exercised some measure of Faith as we have hoped for this horrible pandemic to end. Believing that in time the restrictions would be lifted and that the numbers of those who had the virus would decrease and some level of normalcy would return. That is having Faith!
I not only hope that the sun will come up each day but I believe very strongly that it will. I do not know for certainty that it will rise each morning, so I rely on Faith. Having Faith is a choice I make which I feel helps me stay calm and gives me a sense of peace during difficult times. I believe that our struggles have a purpose and will help us grow and develop into better people.
I want to share one experience where I was required to exercise great Faith. When my husband and I decided to start our family I had no idea of the struggles I would have carrying children. After several miscarriages I was told by a specialist that I only had a 40% chance of having a live birth. My husband and I prayed and fasted and knew that we should continue to try to have children even though the odds were against us. It took much Faith to proceed. We were blessed with two sons and six daughters. Three of those children passed away as infants. My hope of their survival continued until their passing. At the time I felt I had failed to exercise enough Faith, but now I look at things a bit differently.
I choose to have Faith in a Father in Heaven who has a plan for each of us. I try to look at things with an Eternal perspective trusting that God knows the experiences I need. That is where my Faith lies……with God. He will never give you more than you can handle. Even when the answer is no we can still have Faith! I would have those sweet babies all over again! It shows Faith when we ask ourselves, “what can I learn from this?” God does not expect our Faith to be perfect. He only expects us to give our best.
Faith can move the mountains we face in life to a place where we can handle them. Whether it be that they are completely removed or just that our burden feels lighter. With Faith in God and the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can face our struggles knowing that we can have divine help if we only ask for it.
By Tanya Christiansen. Comments welcome on facebook or at ctr75@comcast.net
I remember going to a circus when I was young and seeing lions jump through rings of fire. That was really amazing to me! Later in my youth I found myself jumping through my own rings of fire, not always keeping my focus on the center and sometimes getting burned.
Making progress requires focus and practice just like jumping through hot rings engulfed with flames. Those lions were trained and practiced many times before they performed. Likewise we need to focus and practice and become skilled in avoiding those things in life that can burn us. How do we do that?
I was personally burned and scarred many times in my youth and teenage years not really knowing where to put my focus or how to jump through, around, or get past dangerous things that could harm me. It is no different for the youth of today. They face rings of fire everyday!
Today in church we talked about ‘Putting on the Armour of God’ which is the word of God or truth contained in the Holy Scriptures. The Armour of God is protection for all against the adversary and his cunning and deceitful ways. God has not put us here on earth without instructions (or armour) in how to stay safe and protected.
We are all in the middle of a great battle between good and evil. We all desperately need the Armour of God which is truth and righteousness to win this war. The adversary will always present us with rings of fire that sparkle and glisten in an effort to deceive us. But…wearing the Armour of God will give us the strength and protection to walk around or past rings of fire without being burned.
My scars remind me of a time when I did not have on the Armour of God. I feel safe and protected now as I strive to follow the teachings of Christ and those scars are becoming less and less noticeable. There is nothing that our Father in Heaven wants more than to see His children return home safely.
By Tanya Christiansen
Put on the Armour of God!
Ephesians 6 :13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
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We all come to the crossroads in life when we have to make important decisions. Which path will you take? 7Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
I have been working on this post for quite sometime, being a little afraid to expose this part of myself but knowing for certain that I am being prompted and that the time is now. But then tonight I attended a devotional where the main speaker shared his own story which was very similar to mine. For a little while I had second thoughts about posting this tonight because several of those that attended the devotional also follow my blog. I worried about how it would be received instead of remembering those promptings that have kept me awake these past few weeks. I briefly spoke with my Bishop as I left the church and he counseled me to Act on those promptings. I quickly realized that the Lord often teaches through repetition. For who or whatever reason it is time for me to publish this post.
This post is written for adults, parents and teens. My hope is to open your eyes more fully to the dangers of substance abuse. From personal experience I know there are generally other things going on in someone’s life before they turn to drugs and alcohol. Some are peer pressure, lack of confidence, low self esteem, wanting to fit in, depression, sin, abuse, being an over achiever, fear of failing, deep sorrow and anxiety. I really dont like to think back to this part of my life, but if my story and testimony of the Atonement of Christ can help someone to turn their life around or avoid making the mistakes I did, the few moments that I visit my past is totally worth it!
I wish I could say that I never ventured into the world of drugs and alcohol, but that statement would not be true. At the age of 19 that’s exactly where I found myself. Everyone told me it would stop the pain. I had experienced loss of a parent, moving to a new school, abuse, a teenage marriage and divorce, depression, and loss of self worth. I know those things are really no excuse, but they wore me down to the point that all I could think about was to stop hurting! I found myself swirling around in a deep dark hole that seemed to have no bottom. At this point I didn’t really care about keeping commandments and had broke most of them. The turning point for me was one particular night when I was driving home after partying and I couldn’t find my apartment. I can’t find words to express just how scary that was for me! I realized then that I was either going to end up in jail or dead. That was the first time I prayed out loud in along time. I woke up in my bed, not really sure how I had gotten there, nor did I have much recollection of the things that had transpired the night before.
I didn’t really know what to do or where to begin to make significant changes, but I knew I had to. I don’t think I have ever felt more alone in my life. So I prayed and cried and prayed some more. I was so blessed when a knock came on my apartment door and the Bishop in the area I lived in, introduced himself and invited me to church. I know without any doubt that my prayer was heard that day. It took alot of courage to take him up on his offer…. but I did. Luckily my period of alot of bad choices was short lived, and through repentance and patience I eventually found my Eternal companion and married in the Logan LDS Temple.
You might be thinking that my story had a nice ending, but my challenges didn’t stop there. The result of my poor choices and the poor choices of others had lasting effects that carried into my years of being a wife and mother, making things much more difficult. You see…..I hadn’t really learned how to forgive myself and others or how to access the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I also had big trust issues and I struggled with letting anyone get close to me. I preferred staying away from people as much as possible. I struggled with making eye contact thinking that people could see my past when they looked at me. I thought I had repented but I still carried shame and guilt. I wasn’t always the best wife but my husband was always very patient and kind. I was determined that my kids would never make the mistakes I did. Giving them their agency was difficult. I endured many more hardships with a chronic illness (diagnosed in 1986), bed ridden pregnancies, the passing of two sons and one daughter, and the passing of my husband seven years ago to cancer……but I now see the wisdom in those trials. The Lord tries us and proves us to help us grow. Each trial has taught me important gospel principles and has drawn me closer to my Father in Heaven. I am still working at being the person that a kind and loving Father in Heaven wants me to be. But hey…I am getting there slowly!
I will be forever grateful for the gift of repentance and the help of my Heavenly Father’s servants here on earth who I have crossed paths with these past 8 years. I know that it is no coincidence that I became connected with certain people when I was at the lowest point in my life, not wanting to be here anymore. Their wisdom, guidance and unconditional love has far surpassed anything I could have ever imagined. Counseling has also played a big part in my recovery and progress. After 47 years I finally feel the effects of substance abuse and sin lifted!!!
I now have a greater empathy and understanding for those who have been caught in the web of one of Satan’s snares. The best advice I can give to someone dealing with this horrible sugar coated falsehood, is to turn to your Father in Heaven and find a trusted friend or family member who can support you in making serious changes in your life. Christ can be that trusted friend if you will let him. For teens who haven’t crossed the line to experience drugs and alcohol, good for you!!! It can destroy you spiritually, physically and mentally, it kills brain cells besides harming other organs, it does not take pain away, it only creates more. It is a tool of Satan to pull you down to destruction!
I am living proof that there is a way back! That way is through following the commandments in the Holy scriptures and through the grace of the Atonement of Jesus Christ who has suffered and died for the sins and suffering of all mankind. He has felt your pain and my pain. I have personally felt His cleansing power! I love Him! I will always honor Him with deep reverence and respect. If you have lost your way, seek help now!!! Don’t think you can beat it on your own!!! If you know someone struggling with substance abuse, love them and encourage them to get help!
By Tanya Christiansen
The 12 step addiction recovery program of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is there to help anyone with any kind of addiction! addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org.
National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP
Drugs and Alcohol Kill!
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